The way women dress must not be used as an excuse to rape them, writes Farai Mubaiwa, a third-year Accounting student at Stellenbosch University and a House Committee Member at Sonop Women's Residence, in an opinion article published in the Cape Argus on Thursday (23 April 2015).
The complete article, as submitted, follows below:
I wear what I like
South Africans have a nasty habit – actually, the whole world does. Whenever a woman is raped or catcalled, people ask, 'What was she wearing?' And even if the question is not asked directly, comments are made to insinuate that the woman was raped because of how she was dressed.
This mentality is problematic in every sense. Not only does it deny women the right to express themselves through their clothing and the right to determine how they present their bodies, it also fails to recognise the inherent problem with male entitlement.
In many cultures and communities, men are taught from a young age that women are inferior to them and should be submissive. Unsurprisingly, many men base their treatment of women on this falsehood.
The real issue behind rape is a sense of entitlement and the need for power over another human being. Rape is a man's desire to control a woman. Rape has never been avoided by a woman wearing a longer skirt.
Dress is used as an excuse to shift the focus of the dehumanizing action of rape away from the perpetrator. Dress focuses on the character and image of the victim. I frequently hear such comments as, 'That girl is a slut. Look at her shorts.' It is this mentality that excuses rape.
All too often, I have had to deal with catcalls, wolf whistles and 'pet' names like 'Sweetie' and 'Baby'. My initial reaction was to keep quiet. However, this simply encourages the perpetrator to shout louder, or even to accost me.
So, I have started acting on Martin Luther King's advice, "To ignore evil is to become an accomplice to it." I now challenge the men who try to dehumanize me by asking, "Does your wife know you do this?", or "Would you do this to your daughter?" or "What would your mother say if she saw you right now?"
Some of the men respond with a derogatory, "Voetsek" or "Jou ma se …" Others fall silent and at least seem to reconsider their behaviour. This shows that if you make people think about their actions, you can influence them to choose humanity.
To choose humanity is to treat others as ends in themselves and not merely as a means to an end. It is wrong for anybody seeking power or the fulfilment of sexual desire to use others as mere objects in the process. I strongly believe that this shift in mentality – choosing humanity – can help us counter the sense of entitlement behind rape.
If would-be perpetrators were to ask, 'Would it be universally acceptable to treat all women in this way?' they would not proceed any further. For they would realise that their mother or sister or daughter could also fall victim of such dehumanizing behaviour.
The argument that it makes a woman 'happy' to be the target of catcalling is ludicrous, to say the least. If the men in question were really serious about pleasing the women the whistle and shout at, they might have gone to the trouble of engaging in respectful interaction with them. The fact that they disregard the humanity of their victims shows that they care only about their own needs.
The final question that men would need to ask themselves in order to choose humanity is, 'Am I treating women the same way I would like to be treated?' No one deserves to be treated with disdain. Nobody's human dignity should be violated. That much all of humankind seems to agree upon.
Steve Biko said, "I write what I like." As a woman, I wear what I like, when I want to. Men feeling insecure or wanting to assert themselves should not be allowed to latch on to how I dress as an excuse for their dehumanizing behaviour. My choice of clothing does not mean that I want to have sex. It simply means that I like a particular item, or am comfortable with my body.
As a feminist, I will continue to choose humanity. Surely men can do the same. In fact, I challenge them to do so. And I encourage others to join in. Let us not keep quiet any longer, but talk back and speak out. Our voices are powerful weapons.
* Mubaiwa is a third-year Accounting student at Stellenbosch University, where she is a House Committee Member at Sonop Women's Residence. In 2014, she was Speaker of SU's Student Parliament.
